The 12 Days of Christmas .... a legal problem ?

Dear Sir,

With this letter you will have had served on you an injunction preventing you from contacting our client.

Our client was touched to receive a partridge in a pear tree from you. She was amused when a further partridge together with two turtle doves appeared. She became concerned when the third partridge and tree arrived, this time accompanied by more doves and three French hens.

On the fourth day of Christmas a further partridge arrived, this time with four calling birds, a further three French hens and more doves. The gifts were getting out of hand and she asked you to stop. She had to pay for somebody to construct an aviary and a hen house and she was running out of space to plant the pear trees.

The five gold rings which arrived on the fifth day of Christmas were a pleasant change to the birds that were now arriving. Her neighbours were now complaining about the bird noise.

 The six geese that arrived on the sixth day created further problems for our client. She was by now getting desperate to stop these unwarranted gifts.  The neighbours complained further and she has now been visited by the council. They say that she is running a zoo without permission and the noise of the animals is a nuisance.

By the time the seven swans arrived (along with all the other items that came each day) our client was starting to suffer from nervous exhaustion. She  visited her GP who prescribed anti-depressants. She again asked you to stop and made it clear that the relationship between the two of you had come to an end.

The eight maids a milking that arrived on the eighth day were pleasant enough. It was the cows they brought with them that made matters worse. The waste products from the cows and the various birds mean that our client is now being prosecuted for polluting a water course.

The nine dancing ladies when they arrived meant that, with the eight maids milking, the house is horribly overcrowded and our client is also being prosecuted for this.

Our client is at a loss as to why you thought ten lords (whether leaping or not) was an appropriate present. She sought our advice when you said that you were going to send her eleven pipers and twelve drummers.  The house is now uninhabitable due to all the animals that have overrun the place.  The food standards agency is prosecuting her for running a dairy farm illegally and she is being further prosecuted due to keeping animals inappropriately.

Please note that any further deliveries would be a breach of the injunction and could lead to a sentence of imprisonment.

Yours faithfully

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